


Peace for Christmas

by Talliya



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 16:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5255378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talliya/pseuds/Talliya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was written as a prize for Rakjah for winning a contest on dA. It is based off of the winner's picture. Because that's what they wanted as their prize. Hope you all like it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peace for Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rakjah](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Rakjah).



Christmas was always a hectic time of year… for others. For me, it was melancholy and droll, a never ending cycle of flashing colors and music that meant nothing to me. I’d been in the military for far too long, the joys everyone else felt at the holidays simply held no appeal to me anymore. I had nothing and no one. My family...what little I had started out with - mainly my mother, father and younger brother and sister - were all blown up in a terrorist attack on our city. That was the day I faked my age and joined up to learn how to use a gun and defend myself and others.

Now however, I’m just a grizzled old man in his early forties with far too many scars, both physical and emotional. I’ve never felt inclined to marry or have children, always secretly afraid they would somehow be taken away from me like the rest of my family was. Plus being on the move and killing people for a living isn’t exactly the best environment for romance or a family. I had my brothers-in-arms for years. But they’d been picked off one by one over time and now I was left with nothing but my own hollowness and my pension.

They felt I was too ‘old and tired’ to be of any use anymore. And who knows? Maybe they’re right. I certainly don’t feel like shooting a gun anymore. I DO feel tired all of the time. I would like something new to happen in my life. The widow of one of my comrades suggested that I start going out and meeting new people. It’s not such a bad idea...but I have no idea what to talk to new people about. Most of my work is still classified information and I doubt anyone wants to hear about the cruelness of war as seen from the driver’s seat.

But I took her advice anyway. I started going out to movies, plays, concerts, bars, clubs. Mostly just to find out what was going on in the world I’d spent the last thirty-ish years protecting. It was a wonderful place, and I’m glad I was able to protect it.

However, holidays are just something I can’t seem to get into. Especially Christmas. I was never overly religious but I have my faith. I recently went to a morning Mass but left feeling dirty. I’m so burdened with the lives of others that I have killed, that going into such a Holy place seems wrong. Like I shouldn’t be allowed to cross the threshold. The doctors tell me that feeling this way should fade with time, that what I’ve done for my country was just and God knows that. But it still doesn’t feel right.

Want to know what makes it even worse? There was a man there, sitting a few rows ahead of me and to my left. He was beautiful. Something else that made me feel dirty in a Cathedral...I am apparently gay. Who knew? I’d certainly never tried to find out before.

He was blonde and seemed to be younger than me, though certainly an adult. But again, I’m forty-four. Though I feel as though I am ancient. I keep coming back to the doors of that Cathedral, just to see if I can glimpse him. However, I don’t go inside anymore. The priest understands at least. I told him how I wouldn’t feel right confessing to all I’ve done and he glanced at the scars visible on my face and just smiled at me. He lets the more easily frightened of his flock know that I’m not a threat or a creeper. I just stay outside the doors and listen to the sermons. It feels good to hear the words even if I don’t feel right entering the building.

Today is no different, I get there early to watch people swarm into the building, taking my seat just outside the main door. I close my eyes and lean back against the stone wall behind me and listen. The man hadn’t been there, at least not that I saw. A few minutes later however I come too, bolt upright and one hand flung out - splayed against a firm chest with a slow heartbeat beneath it. My eyes followed the length of my arm and then rose to meet merry blue eyes.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” I blinked and retracted my hand.

“I’m sorry. I don’t usually react like that.” I couldn’t help staring. This was the man I’d been mooning over, calmly allowing me to jab my hand in his chest and pin him to a wall. Who’s okay with something like that?!

The blonde man smiled, “I was wondering. Are you Colonel Delacroix? Of the 1st Riflemen Regiment?”

I blinked again, “I...um. Yes I am. Was. How did you know that?”

The blonde’s smile grew, “Fantastic! I’ve been dying to meet you! My Uncle said you had recently retired. He’s always going on about how great a leader you are.” He paused and a stricken look crossed his face. “Oh. I’m so sorry. Where are my manners? I am Lucas Durand.”

I shook the hand he held out to me and kissed each cheek as it was presented, “It’s nice to meet you.” It was far more than nice, but I wasn’t going to get ahead of myself. “You must be Stephen’s nephew.”

He nodded and grinned at me. “Would you mind having lunch with me? I don’t want to impose, and we can certainly wait until Mass is over if you would like.” He ducked his blonde head, “But I’ve really been wanting to talk to you.”

I grinned, my grey eyes crinkling at the corners, “I’d like that. Thank you.”

So once Mass was over we headed down the street to a café and sat down at a table on the patio. It was nice and sunny outside and the warmth of the sunlight made me feel better, as it always had. It was my one source of pleasure in war zones. But I digress. We ordered our food and he began asking all sorts of questions: What was being a Colonel like? What was it like to be in the military? Did I enjoy it?

I shook my head and smiled as I answered these inane questions as best I could. Being Colonel was like being anyone else...except if something went wrong I was the one who took all the blame. Being in the military was alright, but I would have preferred to do something else with my life. And no, I hadn’t really enjoyed it. It simply needed to be done, and I was capable of doing it.

These meet and greets began happening once every week, where Lucas would get me to go to breakfast or lunch or dinner with him. I learned that he had always wanted to join the military, that he’d thought it was all brave battles and glorious death. I straightened him out on that as best I could. Apparently something his uncle Stephen had tried and failed to do on many occasions. But he could see my scars where his uncle’s weren’t as visible, if he had many at all. I tended to take good care of my men. He had been kept from joining by his family, they kept finding things they wanted him to do or learn that kept him distracted once he came of age. I was glad they had done so.

One day, months later he asked me why I’d joined the military at all if I found the death and destruction so awful. For a moment I was twelve years old and back home in Lisieux as the sky fell down on us. I’d been at the store getting groceries. The owner rushed us down to the cellar where we stayed until the shaking was over. When we came out most of the town was decimated...and my family was gone. A man who had been in the cellar with me helped me fake my papers and join the military. I wanted revenge initially, but it became something more. Something better. It made me a better man to realize that I could take life away from others so easily, it made me realize that that wasn’t what I wanted to do.

I came to to Lucas shaking my shoulder gently, a concerned look in his blue eyes. “Sorry,” I told him, but he just smiled that disarming smile of his. “I joined because my town was destroyed by bombing. I had nothing left to lose.”

He frowned at my answer, but the pain in my eyes and the haunted look from before must of told him that I wasn’t lying. That I really hadn’t joined to gain power and prestige like so many others had.

After a few more months we began hanging out even more often, just having someone else to spend time with - someone who wanted to be around a crusty old soldier like me - meant everything in the world to me. I saw Stephen and met the rest of Lucas’s family, it was nice. They were great people and accepted my reticence on certain subjects with grace.

A few years later and I was invited over to a large family gathering for Christmas. I rolled up in my beat up old pickup truck and parked in front of a gigantic barn as I was directed. I left my things in the bed for the moment and headed back to the house. As I neared the steps for the three story monster of a ranch house Lucas came flying off of them and into my arms.

I caught him by reflex alone and stumbled a few steps backwards before getting my balance back. I laughed with him as he wrapped his arms around my neck and placed his feet on the ground. “What’s this for?”

“I just missed you is all.” Chipper blues looked into mine happily.

“You’re silly.” I bent my head and kissed his nose before releasing him. The shock on his face at the move scared me a little, I hadn’t thought it through before I did something weird. But I was sure he wouldn’t hate me for it. At least I hoped so.

His arms slipped from my shoulders as his father came out and called us all inside. It was a great holiday. The best Christmas I’d had in decades. And when it was over I went back to my lonely apartment in the city. I’ve never been so depressed. But for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what my problem was.

Weeks went by while I simply drifted through life, going to my job as an automobile mechanic and returning home...to my empty rooms. I hadn’t realized how bad off I was until Lucas came by to see how I was doing. He had been at conferences in other cities during those weeks for his own job. I was so glad to see him, that I nearly cried.

He saw the tears welling up and pulled me to his chest; his smell and slow and steady heartbeat calmed me down. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled into his shoulder.

“It’s alright, but, what’s the matter?”

I just shook my head. Once I felt I had a hold of myself I straightened, “How were your conferences?”

He gave me an appraising look, glared at me for several seconds and then sighed in defeat. He walked over to my couch and tossed himself on it. “They went fine. At least nothing out of the ordinary happened. How have things been here?”

“Same ole, same ole.” I said, “Would you like some hot chocolate?”

He nodded his blonde head and I went over to my little kitchenette to make it. When it was finished I brought him a mug and had one for myself. I lifted his feet up and sat on my couch next him laying his feet in my lap. We sat silent for some time before he spoke up again. “Hey, I was wondering.”

I looked over at him to find him blushing, intrigued I urged him to continue. “Wondering what?”

“Well, I. I was wondering...if...maybe. Um, could we spend Christmas here next year? Just the two of us?” He stuttered it, his adorable face flaming red.

I blinked several times before a slow smile spread across my face, “I would like that.”

He flinched and then looked over at me, “Do you mean it?”

The excitement in his voice made me grin. “Yes, I mean it. You should know by now that I don’t say things unless I do mean them.”

He nodded and smiled into his hot chocolate. I think it was then that I realized I was in love with him. I wasn’t really sure how he’d take that news however. So I kept it to myself. We went back to our normal routine until Christmas rolled around again.

We both declined invitations to his family’s Christmas shenanigans and spent the day together. We strolled in the park, snow falling in the quiet air. We built a snowman, made snow angels and had a short snowball fight with some local kids. Then we went back to my place and began cooking and baking for our Christmas dinner.

As the afternoon wore on it became increasingly apparent to me that Lucas was very nervous. After he nearly spilled the gravy he was cooking all over himself I finally asked him why. He stopped so suddenly I had to save the plates he was setting on the table.

“What are you talking about? I’m totally fine.” His voice sounded strained and his righteous glare fell flat.

“No you aren’t.” I stated before I set everything aside and pulled him over to the couch. “Now, tell me what’s the matter.”

He was in a right sulk after that, simply collapsed in on himself and wouldn’t even look at me. I sighed, a little heartbroken that my best friend couldn’t tell me what was on his mind and went back to the kitchenette again.

Once dinner was ready I set it all out on the table and was just about to call his attention to it when he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

“I love you Adrien.” He murmured into my back. I stopped breathing and blinked in shock, he released me like I’d burned him. “I just wanted you to know.”

I grinned and turned around before he could move away, “Good!” I pulled him back to me and kissed his forehead, “Because I love you too.”

He froze in turn but then blinked up at me as a smile spread across his face. “Then, uh, will. Will you kiss me?” He blushed and ducked his head into my chest.

I chuckled as I released him and cupped his chin in my hand, “Whenever you’d like.”

A visible shudder raced through him and he lifted his eyes to meet mine. The next thing I knew I had an armful of needy blonde and sweet, often coveted, pink lips attached to my own. I kissed him for a while, but the smell of food was too much for my stomach. So we broke apart laughing to eat dinner.

Then we settled onto the couch and simply cuddled for a while. Lucas fell asleep that way, our hot chocolate forgotten. It was the best Christmas I’ve ever had. I finally felt at peace for the first time in years.


End file.
